| What the hell was I thinking asking a girl like her out? First of all she's so fucking gorgeous it doesn't even make sense. Second of all why would she have any interest in me? I'm just some fucking failure that she used to know in high school. And to top it all off she's shot me down before. Sophomore year I asked her to homecoming. She told me she wasn't going and then accepted another offer a day later. I'm so fucking retarded. I completely expected this and for some reason it still hurts like hell...The least she could have done was just tell me no. I think being ignored is what hurts the most. Then again I did put in the message "feel free to ignore this if you'd like. I know it's sorta out of left field." I really hate myself. Why would I do this to myself? I'm such an idiot... |
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| I'm tired of feeling so lonely. I think I'm a good person. People weren't meant to be alone. Because nothing feels worse than feeling alone when you're surrounded by people. I know I'm not much but I could treat someone well. I just miss the little things. Holding hands...stuff like that. Having someone to talk to. To say goodnight to. To tell how much you care about them. I need that dynamic again. I crave it. I was hoping when I started doing some things for myself that this might just fall in to place. So far no luck. I'm not so horrible am I? I wish someone would give me a chance. Or even a look... |
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| I hate myself right now. Why is it only when I can't have you that I want you. FUCK. |
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| I hate how pathetic I've become. I lashed out at you because I'm so unhappy. It hurts me more than I thought it would to see you happy. Especially since he "reminds you of me". I said terrible things that I dearly regret. However I also think you're still moving too fast. YOU JUST MET HIM! How can you do that? I'm sorry for how I made that point but damn...then again I may not be being fair. Its just hard for me...I hate feeling so alone. I feel alone even when I'm around people. I feel alone all the time and nothing I do seems to help. I've never been good with being alone. But it seems like years since anybody has cared about me. I'm talking about feeling wanted. I know my family and friends love me but I haven't had someone...I don't even know where this is going. It's 4am and
I can't sleep. I'm just laying here like a fucking bitch crying without it making me feel any better. I feel empty. What the FUCK is wrong with me... |
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